“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn't have another to lift him up.”
Marriage isn't two people who always think alike, react alike, or communicate perfectly. It's two people choosing to stay on the same team even when they don't agree.
Sometimes the person we love the most is also the person we become the shortest with. We can give patience to coworkers, friends, customers, and complete strangers, then come home and have very little patience left for each other.
That's when it's easy for a disagreement to quietly turn into me versus you.
But Scripture gives us a different picture. God designed marriage so that when one person struggles, the other can help them up. Your spouse isn't supposed to be your opponent. They're the person standing beside you.
That doesn't mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is okay. It means remembering during the problem: we're trying to solve this together. I'm not trying to defeat you.
Sometimes one of the most powerful things we can do in marriage is stop trying to prove who is right and ask, what do we need to do to get through this together?
Talk About It Together
Take turns answering these. Don't interrupt each other's answers.
- What is one thing I do that makes you feel like we're a team?
- What is one thing I sometimes do that makes you feel like we're working against each other?
- When you're stressed or upset, what do you need most from me?
- What's something you're carrying right now that I could help you with?
- What is one thing you appreciate about me that you probably don't say often enough?
Tonight’s Challenge
Before you go to sleep, each of you finish this sentence: "One reason I'm thankful God gave me you is..." Don't joke your way out of it. Give a real answer.
Prayer
God, thank You for bringing us together. Help us remember that we are on the same team, especially when we're frustrated, tired, or don't understand each other. Give us patience with one another and help us listen before reacting. Show us where we can be better spouses and help us recognize the good in each other that we sometimes take for granted. Protect our marriage and keep You at the center of it. Amen.