“A man's heart plans his course, but Yahweh directs his steps.”
At some point most couples stop planning and start maintaining.
Early on, you talked constantly about what you wanted. Where you'd live. What you'd do. What kind of family you'd have. Then life fills up with actual responsibilities, and the conversation shrinks down to the calendar. Who's picking up who. What's for dinner. Did the bill get paid.
Proverbs holds two things together. A person plans their course, and God directs their steps. Both. We're expected to plan, and we hold those plans loosely because we're not the ones ultimately steering. That's freeing. You don't have to get the plan perfect. You just have to make one and stay open handed about it.
So when did the two of you last talk about the next five years?
Not logistics. What do you want your life to look like? Is there something one of you has quietly wanted for years and never said because it seemed unrealistic? Is there a change you both know is coming that you've been avoiding discussing?
Dreaming together does something practical too. It gives you a shared direction, and couples with a shared direction argue differently. A disagreement about money is completely different when you both know what you're saving toward.
A warning worth naming. If one of you brings a dream and the other one immediately lists the obstacles, that door closes fast. There's a time for practicality. It comes after listening, not during. Let the dream get said out loud before anyone starts pricing it.
Make a plan. Hold it loosely. Then go make dinner, and know you're both walking the same direction.
Talk About It Together
Let each other dream out loud first. No problem solving until both of you have finished.
- What do you want our life to look like in five years?
- Is there something you've wanted for a long time and never said out loud?
- What is one thing we're doing now that you hope we're still doing then?
- What is one thing you'd like to see change?
- What is one step we could take this year toward something we both want?
Tonight’s Challenge
Take twenty minutes tonight and each write down three things you want in the next five years. Trade lists and talk about them. Pick one to start on.
Prayer
God, we get so busy keeping up that we forget to look ahead. Give us a shared vision for our life together. Let us dream honestly and hold our plans loosely, knowing You direct our steps. Wherever You lead us, let us go there together. Amen.